Coach as Instrument: Giving the "Enemy" a Seat at the Table

This Week's Attunement 

Fear unites the disparate parts of our false selves very quickly. The ego moves forward by contraction, self-protection, and refusal, by saying no. The soul or the True Self does not proceed by contraction but by expansion. It moves forward, not by exclusion, but by inclusion. 
—Richard Rohr

What's Inspiring Me
So I can continue to do what I do and inspire my clients as well

It is said that Ukraine and Russia are in peace talks. The skeptical say it may be a ploy by the Russians to buy time. Talk about giving the enemy a seat at the table! It seems evident to us that Ukraine would be interested in peace talks. And how often, in our own lives, do we proactively turn and face our greatest fears? The relationship that's not working, the child that's not thriving, the parent that's slipping away. Facing our greatest fears means moving toward the possibility of a difficult realization. And better to give our fears a seat at our table and acknowledge what is than resist. That which we resist persists.

I recently attended a meeting of a group of people coming together for the purpose of personal growth and one member of the group said with conviction, "Don't give the enemy a seat at your table!"

He went on to explain that it was about not giving your enemies power over you. It occurred to me that the current that flowed beneath what he was saying was fear. Fear is as much a part of us as any other aspect. Fear exists to protect us. And we want all parts of us to "have a seat at the table."

You might be thinking, "But wait, that's different than giving our enemies a seat at the table." Is it? Who made them enemies? Sure, whomever we call enemies are doing whatever they do, being whomever it is they are. And "enemy" is the narrative WE are carrying about them. And it's a narrative born in fear. So, we want to be giving all parts of ourselves (and others) a "seat at our table." That is what it means to accept and be present with who and what is.