Coach as Instrument: Coaching and Emotions

This Week's Attunement 

“Emotions are at the root of everything we do, the unquenchable origin of every act more complicated than reflex. In all cases, emotions are humanity’s motivator and its omnipresent guide.”
— A General Theory of Love

Roughly 15 years ago, my then three-year-old son was diagnosed with autism. At the time, it was devastating. Of my many worries over the past decade and a half, top among them has been the uncertainty, "Will my son know love?"

Though I've been largely unaware of it, I suspect that I have dedicated so much of my life to studying emotions because of my son.

Since his diagnosis, I've been talking with my son about emotions, how they show up on faces, how to name them, and the thoughts and stories that can accompany emotions, his own and others. As a result of that (and every other treatment you've ever heard of and some I'm sure you haven't), my son today presents as neuro-typical, and he has many neuro-typical and neuro-diverse friends. And he has an excellently nuanced vocabulary of emotions (he's reading Brene Brown's Atlas of the Heart now).

My 18-year-old son with an autism diagnosis has better emotional literacy than most of our clients because he's been taught about them. In our coaching sessions, I believe that it is our work to support our clients in noticing and naming their emotions, particularly while they have them. It may be one of the most valuable gifts we can give them.

Because when we support our clients in noticing and naming their emotions, we are giving them greater access to themselves and a better chance at loving connection.