Coach as Instrument: How do we know we are present?

This Week's Attunement 

A few years ago, someone I respected and one of ICF's first few members, said to me, "If I were to summarize all coaching competencies into one, it would be “coaching presence."

To be honest, I didn’t understand that at the time. I understand it better now. And hopefully, I’ll understand it even better, years from now.

Presence during coaching is a bit like walking on a path that we only see one step at a time as it reveals itself. In my experience, coaching presence requires enormous trust. Trust in the client, that what's present is generative in some way.Trust in ourselves that we are a partner to the client’s unfolding, even if we are unsure how. Trust in the process, that we might not be able to see where a path is leading or that there is a path at all and that's ok.

How do we as coaches know when we are present?

I'm not sure I have the complete answer. And after experiencing myself and other coaches coaching when we aren't present, I’ve come up with this.

We know we are present in our coaching when:

1. We are not contemplating what comes next
2. We are allowing space for what's happening now (and space takes the form of silence that bumpers the client's experience)
3. Our contributions are responsive to the client's experience (more than something we are "adding").
4. When energy flows organically within and through us, our clients, and the field between us. 

I've come to believe that presence is one of those things that most of us think we know and demonstrate. And the more I come to know presence, the less confident I am that I'm being present.

And what feels important is that we as coaches fully explore presence so we come to know what it looks like, and feels like for ourselves.

We do this in our Coach as Instrument: Mindful Coach Certification program. It’s a live, online 13-week, experiential program where we engage in deep exploration of how to experience ourselves as an instrument — a facilitator of “what is wanting to happen” so we can work in a different way and from a different place with our clients. Learn more about it here.

Until next week!