Coach as Instrument: Working with Metaphors

This Week's Attunement 

"Metaphors have a way of holding the most truth in the least space."  
— Orson Scott Card

In all my years as a coach, I've only attended two single-session classes on working with metaphors, which now seems strikingly odd. My clients (and most people) use metaphors routinely. Metaphors incorporate a sense of how the client is experiencing their situation and the seeds of the resolution they seek.

To quote Dr. David Drake, "Metaphors bridge between worlds, opening up new perspectives on our situation, our stories, and our selves."

The word metatphor has two related but different definitions:

1)  a figure of speech in which a word or phrase is applied to an object or action to which it is not literally applicable and

2) a thing regarded as representative or symbolic of something else, especially something abstract.

As I've examined my work with metaphors in my coaching, I've realized that I've thought of metaphor more in terms of the first definition (a figure of speech) than the second (a word that is symbolic). As I've tuned into metaphors more like the second definition, paid attention to the words my clients use, and looked for themes or images symbolic of something more, much more possibility has emerged.

In a recent coaching session, when I asked my client how his weekend was, he talked about how he'd attended a bat mitzvah and how lax, undisciplined and untraditional it was. He spent quite a bit of time talking about how it didn't match his own ideas of what the celebration should be. When we transitioned into what he wanted to focus on for our coaching, he talked about the immaturity of his team and how he felt they were "entitled" and a bit lazy.

Without going into detail, what became clear was that the bat mitzvah he attended became a metaphor for how he was experiencing his own company. When we made that connection and reflected upon his own daughter's bat mitzvah, the solutions to his challenges with his team became clear. He would lead more intentionally, doubling down on his values and what they looked like in behavior.

Everything our client says (and does) from the moment we say "hello" to the moment we say "see you next time" is generative for their own growth. Tuning into the metaphors they use (both kinds) can help them leverage their own inherent, nonconscious wisdom about what's wanting to emerge for their lives. 

Until next week!