Coach as Instrument: Uncovering Joy

 This Week's Attunement 

Joy has the power to open our hearts, remove fear, instill hope and foster healing. Joy leads us to wisdom because it connects us to all we are - our mind, heart, power and spirit”.
— Charlotte Davis Kasl, Ph.D, from Finding Joy

 

A few years ago, I attended a 7-day silent retreat. On the last day, when we were allowed to speak, I asked a few people if they’d be willing to share the highlight of their week. What I heard each time was an awareness of something that had been “hiding in plain sight.” 

One person said the highlight of their week was beholding the wings of a hummingbird in flight. Another person said it was witnessing the steam rising from his coffee in the morning and then settling into condensation around his mug minutes later. What was common to all the responses I heard was joy found in the presence of everyday life.

If joy is readily available to us, what keeps us from experiencing it? And what’s the impact of continuing to overlook it?

At Learning in Action, we’ve been studying what gets in the way of our experiencing joy for about 20 years. What we’ve learned to be obstacles to joy include:

• Hanging on (consciously or non-consciously) to the past in a way that keeps us from being present
• Prioritizing ourselves last while attending to all our other responsibilities
• Taking on more than is ours to take, overburdening ourselves unnecessarily.
• Developing habits founded upon being busy, such that when we do have time for joy, we don’t pursue it because it feels uncomfortable 
• Focusing more on what’s missing in our lives than what’s there 
• Pursuing short-term happiness at the expense of long-term joy
• Losing track of what gives our life meaning
• Disconnecting from others, choosing “rightness” over relationship

So how do we overcome the obstacles to joy?

Well, if it were easy, we’d all be doing it, right?

What would it be worth to you to experience more joy in your life? Would it improve your life, your energy, your well-being, your connectedness, and your resilience? (BTW, yes, it would). What would that be worth to you? To the people who love you?

If you’d like to be experiencing more joy in your life, reflect upon the obstacles above. Which one rises to the top as the biggest obstacle for you?

Once you’ve selected one, consider:
 

• Reflecting on the impact of that obstacle on your life (what’s it costing you?)
• Making a commitment to yourself to make a change and tell a buddy about it
• Determining specifically when and how you’ll make the change and what will remind you at the moment to do something differently
• Committing to implement the change for 75 days (I know, a long time, that’s the point)

I’m in the middle of a challenge called 75 Hard. In addition to it being challenging, it’s provided me with a lot of joy by creating an inescapable structure and removing my decision-making around some key areas of life. Maybe check it out and create your own challenge to increase your joy.

Joy is present in our lives every day, it just gets covered up. If you’d like to learn more about how to uncover your joy and do the same thing for your clients, check out our free course, EQ to WE-Q: Uncovering Joy -Exploring the Emotion that Changes Everything, on Wednesday, December 7.

Learn more and reserve your spot here.